Cubemate: “Steve* invited us to attend a Self-Important Asses Who Talk Too Much* club meeting sometime. I’m thinking about going.”

Me: *rolls eyes*

Cubemate: “What, you don’t like Steve? Why don’t you like Steve?”

Me: “He’s just…he wears shiny black dress shoes with white athletic socks and light wash, tapered leg jeans. I just…no.”

Cubemate: “Yeah, you’re right. Douche."