Saturday, February 28, 2009

If you had the opportunity to fly one small item in space, what would it be and why?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


If you're blue
And you don't know
Where to go to
Why don't you go
Where fa-shion sits...
Yesterday, I was an angry black cloud.
Tantrummy, foul-mouthed, brow-furrowed, scowling, prone to bouts of fist-pounding on my desktop.

Today, for whatever reason, despite having my morning start off with a session with a speculum, I am sunshine and flowers. Everyone's hair looks so cute. Oh my God, LOVE those pants. I want to go around telling people how awesome they are, and give them hugs. I have a team member that was gone to Japan for a work event all last week, and every time I've seen her today, I want to cry with gratitude and relief that she is back. I tucked my shirt in.

What. The. Fuck.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Can you please explain to me how it's not productive to go about screaming obscenities, beating on one's desk, and throwing things?

Are you sure?

I don't think I believe you.
I just looked down and noticed a glob of peach cobbler on my boob.
I have no idea how long it's been there - 30 minutes? An hour?


Friday, February 20, 2009

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I wish my brain were fast enough to keep up with my mouth.



"I can't pass judgment, but aren't fake breasts already looking really 1995?" — Jeanne Tripplehorn to More.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

It is stupid for me to curse at people because they are not answering my emails immediateley when I am the one that's a fool for still being up and composing said email at 10:45 on a Tuesday night.


I have a bag on my desk.

Inside that bag are Girl Scout cookies: 4 boxes of Samoas/Caramel Delites.

I have no cash today, and don’t keep a checkbook anymore, so they aren’t yet paid for.

I’ve told myself that I can’t eat any until they are purchased and therefore rightfully mine.

Everywhere I turn, the bag is still in my line of vision.

I’ve even tried to place the bag behind me, but it continues to mock me.

I may be forced to eat some. Just to shut them up.

I’ll show you who’s boss!!!!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

An observation

I send a lot of emails that start, or begin a lot of IM conversations, with "Dude."

I promise I know other ways to address people, or begin a conversation.


So I’m in a much better place since I got the massage the other day.

Y’all, it was amazing. The best I’ve ever had. Seriously, I wanted to cry when it was over.

You know that scene from It’s A Wonderful Life?

George Bailey: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.

Mary: I'll take it. Then what?

George Bailey: Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much?

My favorite scene – I love the idea of swallowing the moon.

Anyhoo, that’s how I felt afterwards – all warm and fuzzy, my belly full light and snuggles.

I LOVE getting a massage, but I always have a really hard time clearing my head. My mind still races as I try to deliberately block out all the thoughts that have brought me to this stressed-out state in the first place. So my mind wandered away from work and started mulling over the absurdity of the situation:

Well, hello strange man! I am going to go into a dimly lit room, disrobe, and lie down. Then you will come in and place your hands on me, periodically ask, “How’s the pressure?”, and I will enjoy it and pay you handsomely. Let’s do this again very soon!


My weekend was full of glorious, copious amounts of nothing. This was the first weekend since Christmas that I haven’t worked or had some kind of obligation requiring us to run around for an entire day. I spent the whole time barefoot, in pajamas, and it was AWESOME and exactly what my brain and soul needed.

Friday afternoon turned kind of weird and sour, and I thought about coming in to work for a bit this weekend, but I woke up on Saturday and said Screw It, and it was one of the better decisions I’ve made in a loooooong time. Saturday night J got us delicious Chinese takeout, and we sat on the couch while he watched the History Channel and I read, my feet in his lap. It was lovely and what every weekend should be like.

We really didn’t much acknowledge Valentine’s Day either – he really dug his framed albums, and I got a really beautiful plant (in classic, pragmatic J fashion – a plant [in theory] will not be sad and dead in a week). But it was still perfect.

Hope you all had a delicious weekend as well!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

It's hard to relish being right when you're furious.

I’ve had my head so far up my ass that, seriously, I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

And so like I do for every holiday that involves showing my love and devotion to my schmoopy, I am scrambling to come up with something to give J.

I do have ONE THING up my sleeve: during a trip to Austin last year, J found a Johnny Cash album from the late fifties/early sixties, still in really amazing condition (I can’t remember now what year, nor can I find the album now online to show you, but it’s pretty fucking cool).

Anyway, it has been in a plastic bag on a shelf in our office for nearly a year, along with another vintage rockabilly album – we bought them not really knowing what to do with them. So I’m going to take them to Aaron Brothers after work to see about getting them framed. I have no idea how much something like that will cost, nor do I know, if it requires custom framing, if there is enough time to get it done by Saturday. I’m really hoping it works out, because I think he’ll really dig it, and you should know that J is SO HARD to shop for, because he never wants anything but car parts.

Do you guys have plans for the weekend?


I finally remembered the album: Johnny Cash Sings: The Songs That Made Him Famous – it’s one of the original of the 1958 release from Sun Records.

The other album is Rock Around the Clock by Bill Haley and his Comets, a 1955 Decca recording.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Fuck this shit.
I am totally getting a massage this afternoon.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Dear Coworker-
Don't fucking tell me to "use my connections" to get an appointment sooner because you don't feel like coming in at 8 on any given day. I am THISCLOSE to "using my connections" to put a foot in your ass.


Sunday, February 8, 2009

Egg McMuffins aren't as good as I remember from college.

Friday, February 6, 2009

It is very difficult to concentrate on one's work when the scent of fluffy, homemade waffles lingers in the air around one's cube. One one one.

(P.S. They were awesome.)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

LOVING this dress!
Sasha Alexander*, at the He's Just Not That Into You premiere.

*Remember when she was on Dawson's Creek?!