Last night
J is standing at our bed, folding his own clothes because he is all picky and shit so I won’t do it for him.

Me (running into the bedroom, slightly buzzed, singing):
That Big Red freshness lasts right through it
Your fresh breath goes on and on
While you chew it!
Say goodbye a little longer
Make it last a little longer
Give your breath long-lasting freshneeeess…
With Big Red!

J: (Stares)

Me: “GOD, I feel better – I’ve had that in my head all fucking day.”

J: “Um, wow. I’m so lucky to be married to you.”