Saturday, August 1, 2009

Last night, got home from work after 7 - laid down on the guest bed to snuggle with a kitty, and crashed. Woke up at 5 this morning wondering WHERE THE HELL AM I, found my real bed and slept for 5 more hours.

It has been a really, really, really long week at work. Next week will prove to hold a resolution, but with it, another set of challenges and probably another working weekend.

The STS-127 crew landed safely yesterday, and will have a Welcome Home ceremony at Ellington Field this afternoon. Hard to believe that their mission is complete - it was a long, hard road to get there.

I was looking at mission pictures and thinking back on the ~18 months I had with the crew, and thinking about what lies ahead with my next crew, and it struck me, as it has been a lot lately, that we really are coming to the end of an era. I am working incredibly hard, pushing myself and proving myself capable of things I never thought possible...but a year from now, I may still be laid off.

Eight months ago, I could have walked away. I didn't think I would make it to a summer launch - I certainly didn't think I had the wherewithal to start the whole damn process over again. I was beaten down in so many ways; tired, defeated. But my heart is in it now - I can't leave. I'll do this again - tear my hair out and bitch and worry and cry and lose sleep. I'll invest more of my heart in my work than maybe I should. I'll stay until they forcibly make me leave - but I'll walk away knowing that I share in the success of a mission, that I did everything I could, that I helped them make history.


Allie said...

You did, you are part of history and nobody can ever take that away from you. That is so cool!

ZDub said...

I'm not sure what yo do exactly, but I think you have the coolest job in the history of the world.