How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Compulsions

So I have this thing I do where I constantly count letters in phrases.
Like my given first name, which is quite different than what I go by in real life, my maiden name, and my married name altogether, with no spaces, are 21 letters. I like for phrases to have a number of letters that are multiples of 3 or 5. So in order for my first, maiden, and last names to have a total number of letters that is a multiple of 5, I have to include not only the spaces in between the 3 names, but one space before my first name, and one space after my last name, which makes the total number of spaces and letters a very, very pleasing 25.

I admit this to you fully realizing that you will likely not understand it, and thing it is the dumbest, most convoluted thing you’ve ever heard of. And I don’t disagree with you.

I’ve done this letter-counting thing (and also random mental arithmetic with numbers I see while I’m out – example: gas is $2.55 a gallon [I wish] – this is a pleasing number, because it is a multiple of 3 and 5 [3 x 85, and 5 x 51]) for as long as I can remember. In 5th grade, we had a school project where the class was to be an ad agency, and one of the positions was a Copy Editor. One of the tasks of the copy editor was to count the number of letters and spaces in copy, to make sure it fit in the allotted spot, and I remember thinking, “Oh, that’s perfect for me, since I already do that all the time.” (I didn’t get the assignment, in case you were wondering.)

J knows about this thing I do, and gives me a hard time about it all the time. We went out to dinner the other night, and when the bill came, I told him to make it out to an even $54 with tip. He didn’t pay attention to me, and made the total out to $53.19 – he did this as an attempt to get back at me for something I’d teased him about earlier. He taunted me with the bill; “Ooooh, don’t you hate this? 53 and 19 are prime numbers and you hate prime numbers!” (I do hate prime numbers – they are evil.) But I nipped that in the bud when I pointed out that the sum of 53 and 19 is 72, which is a multiple of 3, so BUUUUUURN!!! (In your face, prime numbers!)

He expressed amazement at how I was able to figure that out so quickly, and how easily I can make up new rules in order to smooth my own numerically-ruffled feathers, and how much time and brainpower I waste in calculating such things, and I agreed with him. It’s not something I can control – I just start counting before I even realize what I’m doing. That’s probably why I enjoy my job – it is very much a “put the puzzle together and figure out a way to round out the edges” kind of thing.

I realize that it’s a really Rain Man-esque habit to have, and that, you know, it could be a sign that something in my brain is ticking maybe a little faster than it should be, but…it makes me really good at what I do, and I really do have a damn cool job, so Suck It, skeptics – love me, love my OCD.