I’m stealing a bit from Miss Allie and making a list of things you don’t know (and maybe never wished to know, but whatevs) about me, but I’m cutting it down to 30 because MY LORD, I don’t know if I can come up with a hundred.
1. The only 2 guys I’ve ever had sex with have the same first name.
2. I have 4 tattoos. The blog web address – twentythreestars – comes from my favorite piece: a cluster of red and black stars, in various sizes, snaking up my back/side. I got it nearly a year ago, but only recently did J count the number of individual stars for me, and Alas! It’s the evil prime number 23. This drives me nuts when I think about it, and when we go to Austin in a couple of months, I am seriously considering getting one more teeny star added to make it a nice, round 24.
3. My first tattoo was on a bet from J. He lost the bet, but DUDE, he got a wife out of it!
4. I have never, ever smoked. Anything. Ever. Pre-smoking ban, when J and I would go out and then come home reeking of cigarette smoke, the smell would make me nauseous – we’d strip naked as soon as we hit the back door (and not for Getting It On purposes). But! In my dreams, I smoke all the time, and there are some times when I smell one lone smoker’s cigarette, and the scent is totally delicious to me. Isn’t that so sick and wrong? It makes no sense to me. Maybe I was a smoker in a past life…?
5. I have a big thing for red hair. My first crush, Ryan W. in 1st grade, had red hair. My next significant crush, Marc M. in 3rd grade, had red hair. In jr. high it was Jim S. – red. J’s natural hair color (when it grows in – he started losing his hair at 20 and has shaved it ever since) is strawberry blonde. If I end up with a redheaded child, I may eat them before they reach toddlerhood – the cute may be too much for me to bear.
6. My favorite personal physical feature is my feet. I have really nicely shaped toes.
7. My secret dream job is to be a chorus girl in a Broadway musical.
8. My parents never noticed the extra thousands of miles on my truck from all the times I drove 3 hours (each way!) and snuck back into town to stay with J most weekends the 2 years I was away at school.
9. I work for the federal government’s manned spaceflight agency, which is why I never mention work stuff. (And by the way, never in a million, zillion years did I ever dream I’d end up working in such an industry).
10. I have a thing for kitschy 50’s stuff. I received 4 frilly, cheesy aprons (one vintage!) for Christmas, and I have them hanging up in my diner-style kitchen.
11. J and I talk really mean to each other. If you read our regular household dialogue like it were a script, you’d think we were headed for divorce. But while I’m calling him an arrogant asshole, or he’s telling me to quit giving him lip and get in the kitchen and make him a sammich like a good wifey, we are totally mugging down. It is weird but it works for us – we rarely have an actual fight, and when we do, we’ve made up within an hour.
12. As a kid, I was a member of the Mr. Belvedere Fan Club. I thought this was the coolest thing ever. I now have no recollection of the show, except that it was about a dude named Mr. Belvedere, and he was a butler or something.
13. I have an extreme aversion to chicken bones.
14. I am not exactly positive that I passed 8th grade. There was a big project for my advanced English class that I just…never turned in. My final report card for the school year never came. It wasn’t until I had walked across the stage to receive my BA that I felt like I could breathe easy, that no one was going to show up and say “She’s a fraud!”, and I’d have to go back.
15. When I go out with J, and I’ve had a few beers, when I walk to the bathroom (alone), I grab cute guys’ butts along the way. It is typically so crowded, and they are often drunk (or well on their way to being so), that they never realize it’s me. This makes me giggle.
16. I have a nervous habit of chewing the insides of my cheeks. All the time.
17. I am grossed out by the idea of other guys’ penises (penii? Hee!). Not that I would ever want to cheat on J, but even if I did, I don’t know if I could go through with it, because Ew! Where has that thing been?
18. I really, really hated my previous job. It was at a financial planning firm, and my boss was horrific – she was totally a Miranda Priestley. But if I won the lottery, she would be the first person I’d call, because that woman Knows Her Shit. Plus, it would be awesome to say, “Hey, remember me? Your Office Bitch that you paid less than $12/hr.? Well, who works for who now?!?!”
19. I am much too vain about my hair. It’s very thick, and naturally wavy/curly. I dry it and straighten it every morning before work, and it usually takes me about 40 minutes. On just my fucking hair.
20. I hate lettuce. I’m eeked out by the idea of chewing on leaves.
21. I also hate root beer. Yuck.
22. I am a huge Lost fan. I have always, always liked the names Kate and Jack as possibilities for my future children, but now I think that if I used them, people would think I’m naming my kids after a TV show.
23. I have very few good girlfriends around here. My bestie is way on the East Coast for the next 18 or so months, until she’s done with grad school (and then hopes to boogie back to Texas). She and I chat and email frequently, but I miss having a real, live person to go shop or get coffee or just hang with.
24. One of my boobs is bigger than the other. By a whole cup size. I told J that once I’m done having and nursing kids, The Girls are getting reduced and lifted.
25. I am really, really shitty with money. If I were single and not accountable to anyone, I would probably have about a hundred bucks in savings. It’s not that I have expensive tastes; I just like to acquire stuff.
26. My biggest fear is not being able to have children.
27. I have an annoying habit of harmonizing with anything and everything – train whistles included. I was in choir every year in school up until my junior year in college. I think I would be a pretty good backup singer.
28. My least favorite color is yellow. Guess what J chose as the color of our office.
29. I spent way too much time playing Sims 2 on the weekends.
30. I can count on one hand the number of times in one month I refer to J by his first name. He can probably count on one hand the number of times in 6 months that he refers to me by my first name. It is usually “Baby”, “Hey”, or we…just start talking and expect the other to listen. Most often it’s a whistle – 3 short tones in quick succession means “Where are you? I need you!” or “Come look at the crazy thing the cats are doing now.”
Holy crap, that took like 2 hours - enough of that mess!