True Stories

(First, two posts in a day two days in a row?? Sweet Jesus, it's a miracle!)

Now, may God strike me a bald, shrivelled old lady if one word of the following is untrue.

1. This will make him sound maybe a little gay, but J is into vintage clothing. I’m not knocking him – I think the style and tailoring of clothing from the 40’s and 50’s is amazing – but it’s not terribly often that a straight, non-metrosexual male expresses interest in these things. (I also think it’s funny, since this is the same man that will wear his favorite, nasty $4 Wal-Mart old man house shoes out in public unless I beg him not to.)

Anyway, several years ago, I decided to get him a vintage shirt as a Valentine’s Day gift. Quality vintage clothing can get expensive, and I was on a very poor college girl budget, so I saved up and researched online and found a great shirt at a price I could afford. I emailed back and forth with the owner of the site, Amanda – she was very helpful, and so nice when there was a problem with the shipping.

Valentine’s Day arrived, and J came to visit me for the weekend. I was so excited to give him his present, proud of all the thought and planning I put into it. He opened the box, exclaimed over the shirt, and then picked up the business card I’d included for [Shortened Version Of Distinctive Last Name] Vintage, the site I’d made the purchase from. As he read it, he got a weird look on his face.

Me: “What’s wrong? Don’t you like the shirt?”
J: “The shirt’s great baby. Um, do you know who runs the site?”
Me: “Her name's Amanda. She was awesome and really helpful. Why?”
J: “Uh, remember how I told about my ex-girlfriend Amanda? And how she moved to [large city] to open her own business? I never told you, but her last name is [Distinctive Last Name].”
Me: “……you are fucking kidding me.”
J: “I am not.”

I pulled up the emails I received from her, and sure enough, there was her full, VERY distinctive Jewish last name in her email signature. She was the one that got him into vintage clothing in the first place. Of all the hundreds of online clothing vendors, why did I have to pick his EX-GIRLFRIEND’S?!?!

2. There is a blog that I sometimes read by a chick in the Houston area. I found her because she’d listed some bands I knew and liked as her favorite music. A few weeks ago, she posted a few pictures, and some of them included people we know (at least by face and name, if not personally). I told J about the pics, and he asked whose blog I saw them in. I told him, and mentioned her name, and – you guessed it – turns out it’s a girl he briefly dated several years ago. She’s married with children now, but STILL. WEIRD.

WTF with me finding his exes?!?! Did I marry a manwhore, or is it just a really, uncomfortably small world?!?!