Friday, August 1, 2008

More Things I've Learned

Always pee before you leave.

Take a bottle of water for the road.

Trying to negotiate the times for doctor’s appointments for myself the way I can for the kind of scheduling I do at work will result in a pissed off secretary and a 45-min. delay in the waiting room.

Don’t try to pass someone on a two-lane road just because they have slowed down to 10 mph for the past half-mile and have had their right-turn signal on for even longer; they might change their mind at the last minute and turn left, INTO YOUR CAR, resulting in you coming very close to wetting your pants and a hopefully-inconspicuous-to-your-husband very small paint scrape just above the wheel well. Ahem.

When in doubt, use the larger of the two pots.

Sleep can be delicious.

I can do urine, I can do poop, I can do vomit, I can do blood. I cannot handle pus.

Always write down the confirmation number.


Allie Bear said...

You're a smart lady, these are all very important life

Emily Standridge said...

Never leave your partner in complete control of any plans, but always let them think they are in control. Everyone is happier that way.

The Bouldins said...

You should especially pee before you leave if you are also taking a bottle of water for the road.

I am Trish Marie said...

Well obviously, right meant left.