I did something this morning that I never, ever thought I would do.
I bought a pair of Crocs.
More specifically, off-brand drugstore Crocs.
I should note that this purchase was under duress – the “30% of scattered showers” forecast from last night turned into “monsoon conditions” this morning. Dear Weather Dude, You suck ass. Love, Gin.
The 200 yards of uncovered, flood-prone parking lot I have to navigate through each morning, and the fact that I’d left my umbrella at work made an emergency stop at CVS this morning totally necessary. (Also, Dear CVS Dude, When a wet and bedraggled woman comes into your store out of the pouring rain asking where the umbrellas are, that is not the time to make a joke, unless you want said umbrella shoved up your ass. Love, Gin)(Check me out with all those obnoxious mental You Suck letters.) There are few things I hate more than squidgy, wet socks – I’d rather wade through ditch water and discreetly wash my feet in the bathroom than wear wet, then damp, then stiffly-dried-to-my-hairy-legs socks all day.
Anyway, so this morning found me under horrid fluorescent lighting, listening to the musical stylings of Michael McDonald, purchasing the most piece-of-crap-13-effing-dollar umbrella and sad plastic shoes.