So driving back from Austin on Sunday, J and I ended up listening to NPR (because I love to listen to Garrison Keillor, because I am old and out of vogue like that). That sentence has nothing really to do with what I’m posting about today, except that it serves as a disclaimer to the admission that I willingly listened to contemporary country music: Brad Paisley, and his wife, Kimberly Williams Paisley, were guests on the show, and Brad performed a few songs. Surprisingly, sitting through them did not make my head explode – maybe it was my fever, nausea, and fatigue, but I found them kind of charming.

In particular, I liked the song “Letter To Me”, which was written as a letter to himself at age 17. I was inspired, and have been thinking of the things I would tell the 17 year-old, circa-2000 me. In typical Gin Form, instead of bothering with formalities, I’ll just make a list of things I’d want to tell myself.

1. You really are skinny. No really, you are. Shutup, yes you are. Enjoy and appreciate your metabolism.

2. You will get over Sean. I promise. It will just take some time. In a few years you will realize that even though you both loved each other, you are really too much woman for him. You will have more great loves in your life, ones that appreciate and love you for everything you are, and trust me when I say that the pain will make you value the good times even more. In the meantime, get out more. I know you don’t want to, but try – there is so much fun that you’re missing out on because you insist on staying at home in your pajamas moping.

3. Don’t feel like a loser townie because you’re not going away to college right away. Half the people who run off to UT or A&M or Tech as freshman will drink away their first year, flunk out, and end up back at community college with a few thousand dollars wasted, pissed off parents, a shitty academic record, and a beer gut. Then half of them will drop out completely, and will have three kids by 22. You will eventually go away to school, and it will be awesome and the most fun you’ve had in your life.

4. Don’t worry about not knowing what you want to major in, or what you want to do when you grow up. Focus on the classes you enjoy, and that will lead you to where you need to be. You’ll end up happy, I promise.

5. Take comfort in the fact that Jamie will be a good and true friend to you for many years to come, through all the dumbass things you will do.

6. Don’t ever take a debate class. Despite what you may think it is, it will only end in frustration and heartache. Stick to arguing with your mother – you will get really good at that.

7. You will never, ever regret not having sex in high school. You should be proud of yourself for holding your ground on that.

8. You should also be proud of all the plates you keep spinning for your age. Your older self will look back and wonder how you had all the energy and stamina to pull 18-hour days all of the time. You have accomplished so much; don’t feel like a failure compared to other people who seem to do more, because they are totally abusing Ritalin anyway.


I’ve been thinking about this for a few days, and there was more stuff that I came up with, but these were the most significant; the rest was all, “Dude – Britney will end married to a backup dancer, have 2 kids, lose her shit, and shave her head. I KNOW.”

Is there anything you’d tell your teenage self?