11:50

C: So, girl downstairs wearing a loose-fitting, majorly off-the-shoulder blouse. Work appropriate?

11:52

G: Off-the-shoulder is only appropriate on a sweatshirt in music videos circa 1983.

Says the chick dressed like a flight attendant, so take with the appropriate-sized grain of salt.

C: I've been waiting for the appropriate time to come by and ask for a bag of pretzels.

G: I probably would not have gotten it – I’d have opened my snack drawer and started poking around.

11:54

G: And then you would have made a snide remark.

And I'd have given you the finger.

And you would have clutched your pearls and gasped.

C: Sooooo, pretty much like every other day.

G: Pretty much.

Dear neighbors that left their blinds open and enough lights on to confirm my suspicions that you do, indeed, still have your Christmas tree up,
Thank you. So much.

Love,
G

Google or iPhone or God/Bill Gates should really come up with an application to which you can hum those 5 notes to a song that you cannot place but has been in your head all afternoon since that dude walked down the hall whistling it and you would give anything to know who that was just so you can hunt him down and ask, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT SONG?!?!", stranger or no, so then you would Know! The! Song! and thus purge it from your brain.

Let it never be said that we don't know how to live fast: as I type this, we are watching Mad Men Season 3 and trying at-home ear candling.

G: "What does it feel like?"
J: "I don't feel anything, but the burning sounds kind of like Rice Krispies."

G: (as I check out the remnants of the first candle, while the second one is burning) "OMG! WAX! GROSS!"
J: (lying on the bed with a flaming piece of muslin coming out of his ear)"Shutup! I can't see it! You suck!"

John did mine next, and it was actually relaxing - I nearly fell asleep (except for the fact that I could roll over and set the bed on fire). Also, my ears are apparently nastier than John's. I win!

I know some people scoff at efficacy, but I know what I saw in that candle. I will not post pics, because trust - it is fucking disgusting. But! I am fascinated and obsessed.

DO IT.

Happy Friday, my chickens.

May your weekend consist of irresistible jams. Gin wants nobody but *you*.

Y'ALL.

Oscar winner for Best Animated Short, "Logorama" by Nicolas Schmerkin. I am not exaggerating when I say I watched all 16 minutes of this with my mouth open, this slack-jawed in amazement.

Watch the other nominees in this category here.

I love my husband.

A text message exchange from Friday night:

To: John [at Wal-Mart, solo]
Also need flour: regular and GOLD MEDAL self-rising

To: G
there are some people buying flasks

To: John
AWESOME. Hey see if they have Lady Flasks.

To: G
there is also 3 dudes & a chick w/ faces painted like bad clowns. no shit!

To: John
wtf! TAKE PICS

From: John


To: John
YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME

P.S. Yes, I submitted to People Of Wal-Mart

I'd play the janitor/You'd play the monitor

The weekend soundtrack at our house is generally Sirius - John was cruising through the stations and landed on some sixties pop business. This was the first song we heard, and it has been lodged in my brain for approximately the last 77 hours (but who's counting???).



Someone, please kill me dead.